A reflection of the first half of this year

I’ve noticed a few things about myself recently:
1) when I am not communicating with God I am a total mess.
2) When I am a total mess, I become a recluse hermit.
2.5) when I am a recluse hermit, I tend to reluctantly go to church.
3) Even though some of that Reclusive Hermitness was because of school, I should have made faaar more effort to get together with friends.
4) Even though I am more introverted, I NEED my friends to keep me sane…to keep me loose, relaxed and laughing and not just within myself. Because when I am just within myself…I suck and am no fun, and have no fun. And I like being fun, and I like having fun. I LOVE laughing, loud, long and hard. I definately didn’t do enough of those while I was because a recluse hermit.
4.5) When I am a recluse I get into trouble with my thoughts. Thank Jesus that He is teaching me how to take every thought captive, and reminding me through His Word to renew my mind.
5) I need my friends to continue spur me on to a greater, deeper, stronger relationship w/Jesus. So that Jesus can continue to press me, refine me, and (sometimes) violently convict me.
6) When I become a recluse, my friends need to slap (even a physical one would be nice) some sense into me. Whatever it takes, to make me realize that I’m being an absolute selfish idiot.

WOW! I’m amazed that Jesus still loves me. I’m amazed that His Grace still penetrates this callused, hard, spiteful heart, and is changing it, healing it. Repairing its brokenness. I’m amazed that He still loves me enough to discipline me, loves me enough to take me back even if I essentially ran away from Him and all He has to offer.

I’m just simply amazed, and thankful far beyond what I can put into words….

Hansen

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