A day in the life of contridictions.

I struggle. That’s really all I got to say. Seriously, when it comes to praying and reading the Word of God on a consistent basis, I struggle. I struggle deeply. And usually I wouldn’t be aware of this. Usually it feels like I can justify not reading the Bible, nor conversing with Jesus. But lately it has been bothering me. Lately I have been convicted that when I don’t do one or the other, the whole day tends to fall apart. My thoughts wander and I have a difficult time renewing my mind, and have a difficult time taking every thought captive. Most importantly I tend to have a more difficult time discerning what the Holy Spirit wants me to do.
There are days that everything is right. (even if the day is bad). And those days come, I find, only when I have (and continue to) converse with Jesus throughout the day, and also when I have read a portion of God’s Word. If not, something within my spirit just doesn’t sit right.
I don’t know why now I have only begun to realize this, but then again I have a thick thick skull. And suffer from a disease known as “do it yourselfism.” But I’m thankful that I have noticed it today, on the eve of the New Year, so that for the New year I can change. Not by my strength, not by my effort, not by “being good” but by God’s Grace. By His Grace and Strength I can change, by His Grace I can put in effort. And by His Grace I can be good.

Oh what a wonderful Saviour we have in Jesus.



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