*Just a note: because I probably won’t be updating on Wednesday, I decided to do an 8th entry before taking a one day break.
Hm. What a question. I don’t even know where to start. Actually I don’t even know where to begin to look. Sometimes I wonder if I would even notice the changes that have happened to me within these past two years. If anything, I think the biggest change in me is just how I am around people. I think I am far more outgoing than I was two years ago. I think as well that I’ve relaxed a little bit. I know for sure that I’m not as impulsive as I used to be. I don’t think I’m as angry or bitter as I was. I hope that I’m not as arrogant as I was. I hope that I am a little bit more wise. I am beginning to understand more where I am weak, where I am liable to fall, in what situations I am most likely going to do stupid things.
I notice that as I write this, I have a lot of “hopes” and “thinks” but not quite as many certainties. Oddly enough, I think I am alright with that. Mostly because all the changes that have been happening in me is because of Jesus using life just to beat me up a little bit. Maybe I’m not observant enough to notice the slow, steady gradual changes. Again, I think I’m alright with that for the most part. I think as long Jesus becomes more apparent in my life, as long as I can put a smile onto faces, talk life in any situations, I think I’m good…and by good I mean I’m alright with not being alright. But hoping that Jesus continues to change me. Even if I don’t even notice it.