I just came back from the Trent Christian Fellowship retreat. It was my first one in four years. So why after four years of not being involved with TCF am I now getting more involved, post-university? There is a back story to it, and if you haven’t heard it and are curious, feel free to ask. Ultimately, though the central figure to the the back story is Jesus, and how He brought me to where I am now. How He wrecked me in those four years, and how He slowly performed surgery through those years….to bring me to where I am now.
The retreat was incredibly refreshing and also a place for me to reconnect and strengthen the bonds that were already there with solid Godly men. It was also the place where I began to understand that God has once again begun pressing me on the importance of prayer, the constant need for prayer in all things (but not necessarily never stop praying….yes there is a difference, and I am wrestling through that). I’m thankful that His undiscourageable, passionate, fierce pursuit of me continues to change me (sometimes gently and sometimes roughly).
I think it’ll take me a few days to wrestle through all I have learned. And I am wary that this feeling I have is nothing more than a spiritual high. But I am hopeful that, even if this feeling is a spiritual high, the lesson of the importance of prayer is not forgotten. Because in the end, my emotions are not always indicative of my relationship with Jesus. This lesson I learn and forget on a not quite regular basis, but I do realize that at times I am rather fickle.
Thank Jesus, for His Grace and Mercy. Thank Jesus that even though I am a spiritual beggar, not know what to say…or pray He still forgives. He still loves. and it is His faith and undiscouraged perseverance that keeps me going.
For that I am thankful, and am reminded that He is more than enough.